Hey, can’t talk right now. I got Lorac Pro 2 a few weeks ago. It was awesome. Call me if you need anything. Love you.
Urban Decay has one of their semi-annual purges going on, and I spent way too much money. I picked up the Black Market pencil set and an extra Razor Sharp powder, both of which are gone now. However, I also got three Glide On Shadow cream shadow pencils (in Rehab, Noise, and Mushroom), Ocho Loco 2 pencil set, and the Shadow Pencil Brush, all of which I recommend. There are two shades of shadow (Grifter and Cobra) that are on sale, too, in case you didn’t already get them in the Ammo Palette or Book of Shadows IV.
The shadow pencils are my favorite purchase and also the best deal. They’re really creamy and you can blend them for about a minute before they set up and, just like UD’s eyeliners, don’t budge. Below, I swatched Rehab, Noise, and Mushroom. I made the mistake of scribbling them all on and then trying to blend them out with my finger, when I should have done one at a time — that’s why Rehab (brown) looks great and Noise (pink) looks okay and Mushroom (gray/taupe) looks patchy, because by time I got to Mushroom it had mostly dried. They all blend really well. Noise sheers out a little more than the other two.
If you’re thinking about bobbing for apples in Florida in August, have I got a mascara for you.
This mascara is insanely durable. It’s a top rated mascara over on MakeupAlley and I finally picked a tube up on Amazon. It’s a drugstore brand from Japan, and it’s been my experience that mascaras that hail from countries where monolids are common often are designed to be hardier, to withstand eyelid skin rubbing on the mascara more frequently.
I applied this right as I was coming down sick and three damn days later it looked exactly the same, having withstood sweating, puking, sleeping, and a hot bath. There was no transfer to my under eye at all. No smudges or raccoon eyes. Nothing. I looked like death warmed over, but my eyelashes were fine.
When I applied it, I put on two coats and ran a little metal comb through my lashes. It didn’t give me a huge amount of volume or length, but it was a perfectly fine mascara. It came right off with a little bit of makeup remover (I use Sonia Kashuk) and a cotton round, also, unlike the devil’s ink, They’re Real mascara. I’ve never seen a mascara this durable. If you need something that’s cry proof, sweat proof, swim friendly, and able to survive The Bomb, this is less than fifteen bucks on Amazon.
If you are thinking about subscribing to a beauty box and you don’t know which one, I would recommend GlossyBox. It’s kind of a mid-range price point ($21 a month). I’ve tried a more expensive box (Wantable), and while I got a few things I liked, it was never enough to justify the $36 a month price tag.
I subscribed to GlossyBox back in January because I wanted a second Beauty Blender, and the sponge was the featured product that month (usually two products are revealed as “spoiler” products that every box contains for sure). So I paid $21 for a box that came with a $20 Beauty Blender plus four other things. The boxes usually contain one or two full size things and then three to four “deluxe travel size” samples, which means you don’t end up with any of those annoying foil packets. I’ve found that they tend to be good sized samples for me — enough for me to use the product a handful of times and decide if I like it or not, but not so big that I feel wasteful chucking the occasional dud. The box it comes in is insanely fancy and durable and good for storing things. The packing materials include a ribbon that I regularly use to taunt my cats. If you fill out a quick survey on each box, you earn these absurd points called GlossyDots and if my math is correct, you can earn one free box a year with them.
My experience with the subscription has been this: January had the Beauty Blender and some nice hair and body products. February was a bunch of samples that I loved plus a nice bottle of expensive nail polish and a full sized black eyeliner. March was my favorite thus far because I got a huge bar of fancy perfumed soap that smelled awesome, a full sized lip scrub, and a pretty good sized sample tube of this ludicrously expensive face mask. April was the first month that was, for me, kind of womp womp. I ended up with some gloss I didn’t like and body lotion that doesn’t smell like anything it’s supposed to in addition to a pretty nice sticky eyeshadow base and a white nail polish.
May is a Bergdorf Goodman box, coming with the all deluxe sample sizes and a $25 Bergdorf Goodman gift card, which is more than the cost of the box itself. Bergdorf Goodman, like a lot of department stores, seems to ship any order for free, so you don’t have to worry about trying to hit the free shipping limit.
The boxes do tend to ship really, really late in the month, with a lot of users getting them very early the next month and being upset about that. It doesn’t really bother me because it’s consistent — I get my box between the 25th and 29th most months, thus still making it a monthly subscription, albeit a late in the month subscription.
If you want a beauty box or never new you want a beauty box and now this is all my fault, I recommend GlossyBox. Wantable is too damn expensive, and Birchbox’s endless foil samples irritate me. If I ever get off the Ipsy waiting list, I’ll let you know how that goes.
If you want to sign up through a referral link, let me know and I’ll give you mine, but I don’t want to be that person who just flings it everywhere on the off chance I earn a few more glossydots while also annoying everyone.
After depotting my enormous Wet N Wild shadow collection to save space, I decided to depot my two biggest palettes: Too Faced Joy To The Girls and Urban Decay’s Book of Shadows IV Redux.
They aren’t my favorite palettes, but I like a few of the shades. Sitting up on a high shelf, separate from the rest of my palettes, those shades just weren’t getting used at all.
Six of the thirty one shades tried to crack and crumble. I was prepared for that to happen, using 91% rubbing alcohol on them and pressing them back into shape, but it still was frustrating. I’ve never had a shadow crack or break on me before and the fact that they no longer look quite as pretty and new bums me out a little bit. Hopefully the shades get used more this way, though. I didn’t mind doing this for two palettes I already wasn’t in love with, but there is absolutely no way I would do this with anything I really liked.
I depotted a hundred Wet N Wild shadows without a single crack or crumble, yet these two mid-range brands went to shit when they were depotted. Ugh.
Top: one coat of They’re Real! mascara from Benefit
Bottom: one coat of Better Than Sex mascara from Too Faced
They’re Real awful and I have now been fooled into trying it twice, shame on me and all that. The first time I used it, I had gotten a tube of it with some gift set or another, and I hated it. It gave me spider leg lashes and pulled some out when I tried to remove it later.
Why on earth would I use my Sephora points on another (thank god sample sized) tube of it, you ask? Because everyone in the world makes it look and sound amazing. Seriously. Google it. Everyone loses their shit over it constantly. It’s Sephora’s bestselling mascara and has been for over a year.
I have good eyelashes. I mean, my pores are big enough to drop a Volkswagen into and wearing lipstick is impossible because I always have weird chapped/flaky lips, but my lashes are good. Sometimes they get tangled in my eyebrows if I look too far up. My bar for mascara is incredibly low, which is why I don’t really review mascaras. My reviews would mostly be “Was black and deposited some of that black onto my eyelashes. A++ would use again.”
I have good eyelashes and somehow They’re Real manages to make them bad eyelashes. The top picture, where I have approximately seven eyelash stalks, is after I applied one coat of this satan paste to my lashes. I followed the directions in the Benefit video (top of lashes, bottom of lashes, vertical application) and ended up with three big eyelashes, so I combed them out THREE times using a little metal eyelash comb. Twenty minutes after I started, that right there is the best I could do.
They kind of look longer, maybe? But my god, at what cost. Oh and yeah, it ripped out more eyelashes as it went this time even though I soaked my eye with makeup remove for almost two minutes first.
To those of you who can apply this mascara and get magical results, please stop posting pictures on the internet where any dummy can look at them and think “Maybe I can do that too.”
Also I forgot how terrifying the human face is up close and now I’m never getting less than five feet from another person, lest they see my waxy, blotchy, pore covered visage.
My hair is a huge mess because I’m at a weird length/stage of growing out my roots in addition to accidentally using shampoo with sulfate and conditioner with silicones, which apparently now that I’ve gotten my hair used to sulfate/silicone-free products it’s like NO STAHP. Kind of greasy but fluffy? At the same time? Everything is terrible.
(Also I totally forgot my brow game. Look at dat Aquiline nose, tho. I’m ready to take over for George Washington on the quarter. Call me, U.S. Mint!)
Everyone over on /r/MakeupAddiction is losing their minds over the “Goss method” of applying foundation. It’s a method of applying foundation that Wayne Goss re-popularized recently: you moisturize and prime, then apply a very light layer of loose powder before applying your foundation. Wayne Goss is really hit or miss for me. In addition to finding his video titles irritating (OMG ONE SECRET TRICK!!111ONE NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT), he gives some really sketchy advice sometimes, along the lines of, “What the hell, just apply gel eyeliner to your eyelash curler and jam that mother up on your eye, it will look great I swear.”
Anyway, I decided to try out the “Goss Method" of applying foundation. And it turned out okay. I decided to see just how much product I could cake up on my face before it turned to cake face. I started with theBalm’s tinted moisturizer— balmShelter — instead of regular lotion, dusted my face with e.l.f. High Definition Powder, and then applied theBalm’s timeBalm foundation and concealer. It all went on smoothly, it didn’t cake up, and it was surprisingly dewy looking. Also my face felt really, really soft. Wear time was… fine? Better? Whatever? I have normal to dry skin and a moral objection to sweating, so wear time isn’t a problem for me, generally.
In the pictures above, I’m wearing the makeup I applied in the “Goss Method” and eye makeup, but no blush, bronzer, highlighter, contour, or powder. I wanted to give you an idea of the level of coverage/glowiness/etc. without extra product on top. The pink in my cheeks is actually a deep red flush from some sort of allergic breakout I was having before I put makeup on, so it’s covering really well.
I don’t think I’ll do this every day because I don’t need a lot of coverage every day, but for days I need more coverage or better longevity (like in dreaded outdoor July weddings), I would definitely use it again.
Face Products Used:
- theBalm balmShelter tinted moisturizer in Lighter Than Light
- e.l.f. High Definition Powder (don’t buy MUFE HD powder, e.l.f. is literally the same thing for thirty one dollars less)
- theBalm timeBalm foundation in Lighter Than Light
- theBalm timeBalm concealer in Lighter Than Light
Eye and Lip Products Used
- Lorac Behind The Scenes eyeshadow primer
- NYX Milk jumbo eye pencil (as a base color over the primer)
- Stila In The Moment eyeshadow palette (impulse on the lid and glance in the crease)
- Urban Decay eyeshadow single in Laced (as a transition color to make my colors blend better)
- Urban Decay Perversion cream liner (on the lash line)
- Lorac Front of the Line PRO felt tipped liquid liner (for my sad little wings)
- Urban Decay Super Saturated High Gloss Lip Color in Lovechild
Sonia Kashuk brush sets are hit or miss. Most miss. They’re filled with brushes nobody uses (pointed flat foundation brushes?) and scratchy brushes from hell. This is unfortunate because the brushes from her permanent collection (even the cheap ones with the white handles) are pretty great.
This limited edition Spring 2014 set is awesome. Left to right, there is:
- A big dense powder/blush brush
- A tulip-shaped contour brush that is best for highlighters or highly pigmented blushes (anything you want to apply with a light hand)
- A fucking amazing sculpting/contour brush with short, dense bristles that are stiff without being scratchy. The head of the brush is about twice as wide as it is deep (here’s a picture of her non-limited edition version of the brush), which makes it easy to apply contour shades.
- A flat top brush that is a limited edition version of the brush I talk about like I’m making a commission off it. It’s good for buffing in liquids or creams but also works for powder blushes/bronzers/highlighters. It’s a great brush.
The whole set is twenty five bucks and all of the brushes in the set feel like the brushes in the permanent line, which retail for twelve to twenty each. Well, except the dense powder brush, which is maybe just a very, very small amount scratchier in comparison to the permanent line powder brush, which is so soft it’s like a cloud made of baby’s hair. I’ve only washed them once so far, but I haven’t experienced any shedding yet.
This would be a great brush face brush set to start with or give as a gift to a beginner because it does everything except maybe stippling, and I just use my fingers to do that half the time anyway. With this set, you can apply foundation, blush, highlighter, bronzer/contour, powders, liquids, and creams.
I writing this from my hotel room at four in the morning because this brush set is limited edition and that important. Also because I have crippling insomnia, but mostly that first thing.